I actually have already contemplated this topic a lot over the course of my life. When I was four, my family moved to the remote atoll of Manihiki, in the Cook Islands, for close to a year. I grew extremely attached to that hunk of coral and am still influenced by events that took place there. However, two relevant things happened upon leaving the atoll: 1) I did not consider Hawaii home for a very long time, insisted on using Manihiki pidgin and was shocked by the wasteful excesses of Kona (which are minimal now that I look back with still more perspective) and 2) Manihiki was struck by a hurricane that leveled both villages on the atoll five months after I left. Therefore I still am afraid to return to Manihiki, knowing it will never be the way I left it. Instead I have turned it into an abstract concept and filled it with all the childish and pure memories I can muster, then labeled it ‘historical fiction’ and filed it away deep in the left brain so those perceptions cannot be tainted by cynicism of mature logic.
Now, as for the last week’s dance between Rome, Florence and Prato, this is a much less dramatic version of rearranged perspective at work. I never realized how guarded I was on Roman streets before going to Florence where I suddenly had no impulse to clutch my purse at all times. Although this is not a change in perception it is a realization of unconscious bias. I think that still counts. Florence also gave me a chance to practice being a traveler in a much safer environment so that Rome now seems much more manageable to interact in. Before this side-trip I was hyper-aware of insulting Italians in the process of exercising my limited knowledge of the culture during interactions. But in Florence, since everyone expects you to be a stupid tourist anyway, I was able to push the limits of my practice much more than usual (also the people were much more open to interactions in general) and now have returned to Rome ready to try again. I feel now like I have a right to project myself into society.
As for Prato, even the small stint we took in that town has reminded me of what non-ancient cities are like. That reprieve from history-laden buildings gave me time to fight the desensitization to history; I am no longer jaded to fantastic works of art and mysterious ruins. I stepped back down to the streets of Florence and sighed with relief as the buildings, packed characteristically tight with no alleys and little city organization, loomed up like a wall in front of me. I was jaded to all but the most exquisite museums and architecture. Prato’s industrial nature has now revived me to appreciate the romantic past of the ancient cities.
However, there is another place I’ve recently experienced that influenced my return to Rome as well. I was among the group that went to Cinque Terre for the weekend. While there, I fell in love. That countryside is the most idyllic combination of Nisyros (an island in the Grecian Dodecanese) and Kealekekua Bay, where I grew up (once I reconciled myself to the change in venue after leaving Manihiki). I was honestly more ecstatic wandering those terraces at sunset than running amuck among the Ostia ruins (and that says a lot). After 36 blissful hours among those warm, pastel-colored houses delved into the hillside and taking my first hike in five weeks (a record dry spell for me) through olive groves and marble boulders, touching back down on the dead rock streets of Rome (even cobblestone) was a disappointment. Although I’ve pined for leafy green stuff many times since coming to this city it was never as sharp a pang as when that countryside was freshly burned into my memory.
So, in conclusion, Rome has not changed much in my eyes, only become more distinct in what I saw before. I again appreciate how old its buildings are—even compared to the Renaissance town of Florence but especially to Prato. I see how few green places there are, although interestingly I don’t hold this against Florence, probably because I have not seen it since recharging in nature. And I feel how much more real life here is than in that Florentine theme park.
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